“Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire”

Starting off the then new cartoon comedy The Simpsons on December 17, 1989 was their first episode, which happened to be a Christmas episode, called “Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire”.  I have to admit the first episode caught me slightly off guard since I was expecting Homer Simpson to have a subtly different voice, voiced by the extremely talented Dan Castellaneta.  It is astonishing how each Simpson character changes over the seasons (just like people, except they never age).

Back to the first episode – I like to think of “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire” as a sweet, warm your heart, perfect for Christmas, episode (in a Simpson sort of way).   It starts off like National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation where Chevy Chase finishes putting up the Christmas lights, but he some how manages to mess it all up and they don’t work and to make Chevy even angrier, his neighbor has the perfect lights and the perfect house.  So, just like National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, Homer sets up all the Christmas lights on his house only to find out that 3 individual lights actually work.  Soon jolly Ned Flanders pops out of his house with the perfect Christmas lights and Santa decorations - strike one for Homer.

The next day Homer goes to work at the nuclear power plant ready to collect his Christmas bonus to take his family Christmas shopping.  Homer finds out that the Christmas bonuses are cancelled – strike two for Homer.  Luckily, Homer remembers he and Marge saved a jar full of money for Christmas shopping.  While Homer is busy eating donuts at work, Marge took Bart, Lisa and Maggie to go Christmas shopping at the mall.  While shopping at the mall, Bart stops at a tattoo parlor and daydreams that his mom would love for him to get a heart shaped tattoo with the word “mother” written across.   Half way through Bart’s tattoo, Marge finds him in the tattoo parlor and yanks him out of the chair with half of the tattoo already on his arm.  Marge then uses the jar of money saved for Christmas shopping to get Bart’s new tattoo removed, happy to know they at least have Homer’s Christmas bonus.

Later that night when Marge, Homer and the kids are all home, Marge tells Homer about spending their jar of money on Bart’s tattoo, but not to worry since they have Homer’s Christmas bonus.  Homer is to disdainful to tell Marge that he is no longer getting a bonus and instead tries to go Christmas shopping on his own (with a very small budget), buying Marge panty hose, Bart paper and Maggie a pork chop dog chew toy for Christmas.  Depressed, Homer goes over to Moe’s Tavern to try and figure out how to save Christmas when he runs into Barney who took a mall Santa job.  Homer is convinced that this will be the perfect way to save Christmas.   Homer takes on the mall Santa job, goes through Santa classes, gets his Santa uniform and works doubles (at the power plant and mall Santa job) to make enough to save Christmas.   On Christmas eve when checks are disbursed for the mall Santa job, Homer is disappointed when his check is only $13.00 ($120 gross, minus social security, federal, government, Santa training classes and uniform).   Barney convinces Homer to go to the dog races and bet his $13 on dog number eight.  Homer decides he would like to bet on the dog named Santa’s Little Helper instead (thinking it’s a sign).  Bart tells him he does not think it is a great idea betting on a dog that does not win, but Homer does anyways.  Santa’s Little Helper comes in dead last and dog number eight wins, and so does Barney – strike 3 for Homer.

As Homer and Bart are leaving the dog races to go home, the owner of Santa’s Little Helper throws him out on the streets, since all he does is come in last place.  Santa’s Little Helper runs to Homer and jumps into his arms.  Bart begs Homer to keep the dog. Bart and Homer come home Christmas Eve and the family is in love with Santa’s Little Helper - Homer saves Christmas!

My favorite quotes from this episode:

*Bart daydreaming of getting a tattoo, “Oh Bart, that’s so sweet.  It’s the best present a mother could get, and it makes you look so dangerous. “

*Homer naming the reindeer in his Santa class, “Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Nixon, Comit, Cupid, Donna Dixin?!”

*Bart on Christmas miracles, “If tv has taught me anything, its that miracles always happen to poor kids at Christmas.  It happened to Tiny Tim, it happened to Charlie Brown, it happened to the Smurffs and it’s going to happen to us.”

*Homer on why not to keep Santa’s Little Helper, “But he’s a loser, he’s pathetic… he’s a Simpson.”