Bart gets beat up, or is it beat down?!
NelsonIn episode five of season one titled "Bart the General", Lisa is making cupcakes for her teacher Ms. Hoover’s birthday. Bart starts to make fun of her for being a butt kisser when Homer sits him down and tells him that it’s good to be a butt kisser, that’s one of the three roads to success.
As Lisa and Bart get on the bus, Bart tells Auto that his sister won’t share her cupcakes with anyone, just as Lisa is handing a cupcake she made especially for Auto, to Auto. As they take their seats on the bus, Lisa almost drops the cupcakes on the floor, thanks to Auto's mad driving skills, Bart catches the cupcakes and demands Lisa give him one. After calling Lisa many bad names, she still refuses to give Bart a cupcake (weird, because if someone called me a “sniveling toad” I’d give them a cupcake). Lisa convinces Bart to take all those dirty names back and she decides to give him a cupcake, after he closes his eyes and she dropped one the floor (accidently of course, it’s Lisa we’re talking about). When she gets to school, her cupcakes are a hit, so much so that the mean kid in the red shirt stole them. Bart tries to fight him for the cupcakes, but Nelson steps in and beats up Bart instead. Two hits and Bart on the ground later, Nelson realizes he’s bleeding and it’s his OWN blood… uh oh! Luckily, Principal Skinner comes and breaks up the fight (on accident), just in time.
Back in class, Bart daydreams of his fight with Nelson, although Nelson is a giant and nothing Bart does will harm or kill him. Instead Nelson eats him just as Bart wakes up from his dream to the lunch bell. In the lunchroom Lisa chants – my brother Bart, the bully killer. In class, Bart has another daydream that he is dead and everyone is at his funeral saying their goodbyes, except for Nelson, who punches Bart instead. Bart awakes to hear the end of the school day bell and tries to hurry on home before Nelson finds him to beat him up again. Just as Bart turned the corner, there was Nelson… waiting. About 9 punches in the face later, a dragging across the school yard, and Bart thrown in the trash can that was then kicked down the hill, Bart was promised by Nelson and his gang that he will get beat up again at 3:15 tomorrow. Luckily the garbage can tumbles Bart all the way home.
It is obvious when Bart walks through the door that something bad has happened to him. Bart tells his parents that he got in a fight protecting his sister as he heads to the bathroom to sulk. Homer comes in to find out what’s wrong with Bart and Marge rushes into the bathroom once she over hears that Bart got beat up by bullies. Homer refuses to let Bart tell the principal about this fight, because it would betray the school yard rules, he’d rather Bart die. Marge steps in and tries to convince Bart to talk to Nelson, instead of fight with him. Homer, not agreeing with Marge, shows Bart how to fight with a punching bag and to fight dirty.
The next day, Bart goes to school, fights Nelson the way his dad taught him, but Bart gets beat up anyway and arrives home in the same can he came home in the day before.
Lisa convinces Bart to visit grandpa Simpson at the old folks home to get advice on fighting. Grandpa tells Bart that he needs to stand up for himself or bullies will be picking on him the rest of his life (just as grandpa Simpson and another old man are fighting over a crossword puzzle, old man wins). Grandpa takes Bart to see Mr. Herman who comes up with a strategy on how to beat up Nelson, and it is all about the ‘posses’. Bart goes to school and passes around a note for anyone who is afraid of Nelson to meet up with Bart later in his tree house. All the kids in Bart’s new posse train, march and prepare (exactly like the military) to beat Nelson. Bart’s army steps out onto the street just in time to meet Nelson with water balloons. The kids tie up Nelson and wheel him away like a prisoner from the war. A random sailor boy kisses Lisa as she tells him to leave her alone.
Bart tells Nelson he will untie him if he behaves, but Nelson threatens to kill Bart if Bart unties him. Mr. Herman hears this, tells Bart to leave Nelson and they write up a treaty between the boys so that they can both live in Springfield in piece.
Favorite quotes from this episode:
*Lisa defending on why she’s giving Ms. Hoover cupcakes for her birthday. “Dad, I get good grades because I’m smart and I pay attention and I study hard.” Homer- “Yea, right Lisa. It’s the three roads to success, Bart. Work, Brains, and hmm (cupcakes).”
* Homer telling Marge why he doesn’t want Bart to tell the principal about his fight “What? And violate the code of the school yard? I’d rather Bart die.”
* Homer telling Bart how to fight dirty “Unfortunately son, we Simpsons sometimes have to bend the rules a little in order to hold our own. So the next time this bully thinks you’re gonna throw a punch, you throw a glob of mud in his eyes, and then you sock him when he’s staggering around blinded and there’s nothing wrong with hitting someone when his back is turned. And if you get the chance, get him right in the family jewels. That little doozy has been a Simpson’s trademark for generations. “
