Ya know what Heroes needs? More characters and years-old plot points. While this week's episode wasn't even near the pile of unadulterated suck that last week's episode managed to be, it was still the kind of bad that only Heroes can achieve. The difference is that "Tabula Rasa" was a funny kind of bad, a truly astounding display of I-can't-believe-they're-doing-it awfulness that I've come to expect and even look forward to with this show.

Let's go over this one in plot chunks. Sylar has arrived in the Super Carny camp where Head Super Carny has decided to tutor him in the ways of magical thinking. Because that's exactly what people with acute retrograde amnesia need: cryptic, philosophical phrases and a complete lack of direct, necessary explanations. Typecast Toughguy Cop Ernie Hudson (who I erroneously referred to as Ray Winston last week) shows up looking for his lost prisoner, only to be cut to ribbons by Darth Maul Carny in a conspicuously not-tense final confrontation with Sylar. Along the way we get another magical Caribbean islander with another laughably specific power and the beginning of a romance plot between Sylar and psychic tattoo woman. By the end of the episode, Sylar's one of the family. I can't wait until he murders every last one of them, even though all the carnies would make a better principle cast than the chorus of idiots we're currently stuck with.

On the other end of the episode, Hiro's plot finally converges with the rest of the story when he teleports into Peter's apartment and is subsequently hospitalized. With Noah's help, Peter goes to retrieve a teenager with healing powers so Hiro doesn't die (damn it). The twist is that the boy's powers have inverted and now everything he touches dies. Because Peter is and always has been a remarkably useless git, he decides to only use Hiro's time-stopping power after he's stepped directly in front of a shotgun blast. Of course, this gives the kid incentive to actually heal somebody. By the time Peter gets back to the hospital in New York, Hiro has teleported back to Texas from three years ago to save Charlie, the diner waitress with super-learning who's now a supporting character on Glee, a much better show on a much more respectable network. Ya know what else would be great if they brought it back from three years ago? A consistently good version of this series.

Oh, and Deaf Doctor is still all mopey about her absolutely awful power. And Hiro does a magic show for children. Also, in related news, I now have to go nurse my gaping skull fracture resulting from knocking my head against the wall for roughly 42 minutes every Monday night.

Best Moment: Peter getting blasted in the chest with buckshot. It actually looked kinda cool and I'm in favor of any lethal harm coming to just about any character on this show, even if I know they'll just get up and be okay in a couple minutes.

Notes: "Well if he can save Hiro, it's definitely a gift." Oh, Claire. It's adorable how you always manage to say and do the exact opposite of whatever the audience wants.

Episode Rating: Here's the thing, readers. I don't think it's appropriate to give Heroes a rating based on the same metric as all other shows. Really, it's just a matter of whether the awfulness is so bad it's good, or just plain bad-bad. Tonight's episode had so much outlandishly bad material that it was actually pretty fun to yell at the screen. So, this one is being rated Good-bad.