All the serious, thought-provoking shows I watched throughout the year (Modern Family, America’s Next Top Model, you know, really tough stuff) have ended for the summer.  During the summer, I want the TV equivalent to the beach read: good looking people battling minor problems.  Besides Big Brother and other trash-filled shows, my gluttonous summer standbys are always reality TV cooking shows.  You watch people cook food you know you never will make AND you gain less weight than you would actually eating. It’s win-win! Remember those bikini bodies, ladies and gents, and watch people eating on TV instead. Here are some of the best foodie shows of the summer:

The Next Food Network Star.  Sundays at 8/7c on The Food Network.  This one combines three of my favorite TV elements—voyeurism, cooking, and people trying embarrassingly hard to be celebrities. That’s right, this super-meta television show airs on the Food Network in the search for the next person filled with charisma to have their own show on the Food Network.  Contestants compete in product-placement-filled challenges—last week they madeKellogg's® Rice Krispies®Crab Fritters with Spicy AioliandChicken and Kellogg's® Eggo®Waffle Appetizer Bites—that combine star power and cooking finesse. A lot of the contestants are really awkward on camera--chefs are hidden in the back of the restaurant for a reason--or really inept at cooking--one guy dipped asparagus in chocolate sauce. Embarassing moments and ineptitude unfortunately makes for excellent TV.

Great Food Truck Race.  Starting August 14. The Food Network.  The Food Network truly understands the fact that it’s more likely to have a hit on its hands if it combines more than one guaranteed successful reality TV element.  That’s why this show combines the best of The Amazing Race and Top Chef  and makes contestants be the fastest drivers and the fastest chefs.  The race lasts for six weeks and the trucks have to drive over four thousand miles, ending in Miami Beach.  The winner gets $100,000 to expand their wheel-bound businesses. This show was really fun to watch last summer mostly because it’s difficult to make regionally-specific cuisine appeal to the masses.  For example, how likely are people to want hot soup in Tucson, Arizona in the middle of summer?  This year proves to be just as interesting, offering cuisine ranging from Cuban, vegan and gourmet grilled cheese to soul-filled Mexican and Korean BBQ. 

Cupcake Wars.  All the time/it doesn’t matter.  The Food Network. I love Ace of Cakes  so much that I wanted to move to Baltimore, so it’s not the baking on this show that bothers me.  It’s the boring that bothers me.  This show is the same every week--there are no really new challenges--and competitors win each episode, so you only see each team for one week.  That means that you never get to know how weird the contestants are or see them sweat in the food and try it live it down or call their spouses in small, awkward cubicles.  Really, what’s the point?  It also more sad than anything else to watch the judges on this show--they take cupcakes so, so, so seriously.  Really and truly, they are offended when the cake is too heavy or if the lemon meringue is not perfectly torched.  Sure, the “real” food judges get pissed when risottos are not light and fluffy enough, but that’s about the maximum level of goofy, foodiness that I can stand. THIS IS ONLY A CUPCAKE.